YETI WITH ANGER ISSUES

This thing has been in therapy for three centuries and it hasn't worked once. He shows up already furious — usually about the thermostat. His fists are made of ice that forms on demand, so every punch gives you frostbite AND a bad day. He'll shoulder-check you into a glacier and stand there growling. He's been going through a divorce, lost custody of the cave cubs, and his therapist quit. He's an 8-foot rage monster who fights in negative temperatures. Don't make eye contact.